5 years. 5 CRAZY YEARS. That’s how long it’s been since I last wrote an article for this site. So much has happened in that time. The world shut down, food became more expensive than a Banksy, Neighbours was cancelled, came back and was cancelled again, Pot Noodle started putting noodles in packets, Forest returned to the Premier League and Lilt changed its name to Fanta (still not over that!). We have run the full gauntlet of emotions.
So where have I been? Probably out walking Doggie Barko. Or actually, in 2021, myself, Sixo and Maz (later joined by the delightful Jason) started a podcast called Triple Takeover, where we talk about Transformers and occasionally other toy-lines (seriously, go check that out here if you haven’t already). With that we talk so much about Transformers, and have got to interview so many amazing people involved in the brand, that the website kinda just got stuck on the back-burner. With all of the best intentions I did keep planning to do new articles but got busy and it just never happened. Not only did I start doing a podcast, but I also got really into that show Succession on the tele, which consumed time and emotional bandwidth. It was just one of those things that I never got round to coming back to. But now we are back – by unpopular demand! A bit like the Snyder Cut of The Justice League, I guess (heh, still such an easy target).
So why now? Well, The Transformers: The Movie is back in cinemas and it’s got me all nostalgic. Okay, but why this toy? I bought this toy and then totally forgot about it. Then I took a whole gallery’s worth of photos and forgot about them too. I found them on my hard drive the other day and was like, “ohhhh yeahhh. What if I put them on some sort of website? What if I wrote some words to go along with them? What if I dusted off the ol’ Pat Sharp’s mullet references?” (Truthfully, I was in the pub earlier this afternoon and after a couple of beers it seemed like a good idea. So here we are.)
Would you start the fans, please! Or just scroll down to read the article.
Smokescreen’s vehicle mode is that of a car, based on the McLaren MP4-12C, allegedly (I am a cowboy, firing round after round of TFWiki ammo. Yee-haw!). It’s pretty close to his show model, and does look very much like something a Premier League footballer would be showing off on TikTok (I don’t have TikTok, but I am trying to maintain a facade of relevance – don’t judge me). It’s pretty well detailed for a deluxe-sized car with all that stuff that cars should have. There are vents, spoilers, windows, wheels… all that. The car headlights have no glass covering and poke out, which does make me wonder what he does if rain gets in them, but they also look like little gun barrels – which is kinda rad.
Raise your hand if you had the old Beast Hunters Deluxe. I did, but I can’t raise my hand as I am typing. That toy was great, but the deco was nothing like the version that appeared on the show. This toy hews (I have always wanted to use that word) closely to animation accuracy, as we have come to expect from modern Transformers toys. There is just a teensy bit of Hasbro special weirdness sauce that I like. The 38, inspired by the G1 fella’s decals, is there as it is in the show. But it has this kind of trailing effect where there are multiple faint prints of that 38, and I can’t work out if it’s accurate – or if I am having a stroke. It’s kinda like the door is shouting 38 in a cave and it’s echoing. It’s a cool deco, but let’s be real – we are all waiting for that sweet Binaltech/Alternators-inspired blue and yellow one, right?
It’s a very solid alternate mode, both in how it looks and how it physically feels. Everything clips in solidly, though I think the right side of the hood on mine doesn’t fully line up. I did try transforming it a few times to see if I could get it more flush, but after the third time I got bored and decided to go bask in the warm glow of Pat Sharp’s sacred mullet and watch old episodes of Funhouse instead. He does come with two blasters that plug into the back to give him boosters, like Thunderhawk from M.A.S.K. Maybe Matt Trakker designed this toy?
Transforming the original Transformers Prime figures was often a bit like unfurling a Christmas tree that you’d dug out of the loft for another year, where shapes looked wonkier than you remember them looking, other bits would fall off, and then when you put it all back together it didn’t always seem to fit right. Great toys, but not always the most intuitive transformations. Taking Age of the Primes Smokescreen from car to robot isn’t difficult, but it is strange transforming a Transformers Prime character A) so simply, and B) it feeling quite bog standard. By bog standard, I mean he transforms like a fairly typical modern deluxe car. It’s fun flipping him back and forth, and there is a neat twist where the bonnet opens like a bin lid for the head to pop through. We’ve all “bin” there… (I am so, so sorry).
With the Prime characters’ appearances in whatever iteration of Generations we are on this month, they have stripped back the stylised nature of Prime’s design aesthetic and gone for something a bit more traditional. Many people say they have made them more G1, but to me it’s just a more modern, standardised look. Sort of blockier, less like a Quality Street that’s been stood on. The original Prime Smokescreen toy did have that super-wide vibe where he looked like someone had had a go at him with a rolling pin. Here it’s very much that kind of… evergreen Transformers look? It could be something from an IDW comic. He still looks great, but there is a totally different stylistic ethos at play where it clearly is evoking that character – but it’s not accurate to that design. Smokescreen’s animation model was a gorgeous, super-curvy, stylised design where most of the vehicle parts vanished into the character model to leave you with something that looked way more humanoid than the typical Transformer. This toy takes that design and fuses it with a couple of hints to other versions of the character. I can’t shake the feeling it’s designed to be repurposed as someone else entirely, which is why there is such a big compromise with the chest. There are already strong RID 2015 Jazz vibes, but I wonder who else will be sticking on this plastic costume.
The upshot is he doesn’t look like the animation model from the show. Unless you have dabbled in some Christmas sherry, perhaps, and your vision has developed that warm festive glaze.
His head does look a bit more G1-ised, and a little less like a foil-wrapped jacket spud than the original did, and the hints of the G1 Smokescreen toy head are even stronger there. In this colour scheme, his head looks so much like a modern Prowl that I am amazed he didn’t come with a table to flip. The great irony being that the Prowl redeco of the old Prime Smokescreen got a totally different head (ooooh yeah he did… wink). The big change that really “transforms” (come on, it’s been 5 years) his appearance is the way the bonnet flips over his head and onto his chest. It sits very much as a G1 Autobot car chest does and doesn’t crumple down in the way it did in the show. On the Prime toy, they accomplished this by sculpting it as one faux panel because what the show does is some arcane form of black magic. A consequence of this, though, is that where the bonnet still makes up most of the torso, it now appears much more akin to a bib you’d wear for a game of 5-a-side.
I adore the animation model for Smokescreen in the show, and it took me a moment to get on board with this toy not being that. But then I am still not over Capcom changing Ryu’s gloves from brown to red, so there you go.
Articulation is decent and is exactly what you are expecting it to be. He might not be as dynamic as the character in the show, but he can swagger like Jagger. Unfortunately, he’s not as solid as Mick’s Botox. First up, whilst the chest flips over and attaches in the manner of a harness on a ride at Disney World, it doesn’t lock tightly. It will detach very easily. The second issue is the shins come open really easily. They also have this really odd thing where, if you straighten them, they peg into the thighs. Why? I have no idea. Does it really matter? Not really, but it is a little annoying.
Accessory-wise, it’s a bit stingy. You get two thruster nozzles and that’s your lot. In the show, his arms turned into cannons, and here the hands fold in to reveal ports for the nozzle thingys to plug into and emulate that. Or you can pretend they are dust busters and Smokescreen’s name comes from all the dust he kicks up from hoovering. There is one final accessory, sort of, sculpted into his left arm. You could be forgiven for thinking he is wearing a watch, but it is in fact his “Phase Shifter”. This was one of the ancient artefacts (see: MacGuffins) that the Transformers were searching for throughout the show. This one let the wearer walk through walls and stuff, and I bet it would have been really useful on an episode of Knightmare.
Transformers Age of the Primes Smokescreen is a decent toy. It might not satisfy every fan of Transformers Prime, but as a fusion of different influences, it’s still a fun figure. I still have mild PTSD from transforming some of the original PRID figures back in the day (don’t send me an angry mail – I liked those toys!), and if one of the trade-offs is quicker transformations over strict show accuracy, then maybe that makes it slightly easier to accept. It’s inevitable we will see this toy again in the blue and yellow colour scheme he transitioned to later in the show, but I do cling to a life raft of hope that we eventually see another crack at the character in the not-too-distant future that does give us that sweet, animation-style handsome lad.